So this is Love
by PatMai
Summary: Ritsuka and Soubi have been in love with each other for a long time, each passing event holding their bond together even stronger. But something disturbs Ritsuka that makes him suspicious… [SxR, Yaoi, Shounenai]
1. 1 He is what makes life divine

**So this is love – Chapter 1: He is what makes life divine**

**A/N**: Hello! This is my first "Loveless" fanfic. Nothing much to say—really… ; Please R&R:3 Yay! Hop you like it. …Got the title/s from a song in Cinderella. ;; Sorry if it's crappy, I couldn't think up of anything else… ;;;

**Summary:** Ritsuka and Soubi have been in love with each other for a long time, each passing event holding their bond together even stronger. But something disturbs Ritsuka that makes him suspicious… SxR, Yaoi, Shounen-ai

**!DISCLAIMER!**

Loveless© does not belong to me! (Too bad xD)

**!WARNINGS!**

Yaoi, shounen-ai, male pairings, homosexuality, etc… need I say more:3

**oO0Oo**

'Soubi… Soubi… Soubi…'

The name lingered and played in the 6th grader's mind for a long time now, along with it was the images of his face. Hours upon hours of sleep wasted just thinking of that one irritating, frustrating, provoking, yet handsome smirk on his face deeply depressed inside his mind.

'_What the heck is wrong with me? What the hell is up with Soubi that I couldn't stop thinking about?_' Ritsuka then sat up straight in his bed, his ears bent down low, twitching with irritation.

He then checked his watch for the time… 2:28AM… _Fuck_…

The young boy recoil his knees up to his chin, "What am I going to do? …I'm still wide awake…" he told himself. He jumped off his bed; a nice warm bath would really hit the spot.

Ritsuka soon after soaked himself until his head in his bath tub, steam filled the bathroom and moistened the mirrors and flushed Ritsuka's face. But it wasn't a few minutes later that Ritsuka, to his surprise, found himself saying Soubi's name while playing with the water.

"Now I know something's wrong with me…" he laughed to himself quietly, "I'm always thinking of you, Soubi…" Then, something just hit him he heard something, a voice, it was his own… But something different…

'…_When he kisses you, are you sure it's you he's thinking about?'_

Ritsuka then sat up straight all of a sudden, "That's right… He was Seimei's fighter, I know he also probably loved Seimei, but could he really forget him…?" he told himself. Then something even bigger hit him and bothered him until he slept with the same thought…

"…_Is he just using me to his own pleasure, while he's actually thinking of my older brother?"_

---

The next day, he still was confused. He sat down in his seat, greeted Yuiko and Yuiko greeted back, then she started babbling how she loves strawberries so much and then to when one of her relatives had a partnership in a strawberry farm—something or other…

'…_I'm worried…_' Ritsuka still thought to himself. Yuiko was still blabbing away, pausing every now and then to see if her seatmate was actually paying attention to her.

Just as they were they were dismissed, Ritsuka took out his phone, he didn't know what the hell to send or to say—so he was just staring at the butterfly wallpaper, while Yayoi was still trying to get Yuiko to like him, while Yuiko was trying to figure out what's wrong with Ritsuka… She noticed right then that he didn't once seem to mind her the whole day. (A/N: She's so clueless… LOL! X3)

"Hey, Ritsuka, I like your Mobile's wallpaper! Where did you get it from?" Yuiko asked enthusiastically, while Yayoi was crying like a wuss in the background _'Why won't she care about meeee?'_

"…I got it when Soubi got me this phone…" he answered back mechanically. They were walking towards the gate when Ritsuka heard Soubi's voice.

"Yes?" he asked, tilting his head to the right with that gentle smile on his face. Ritsuka quickly looked up, took a glance of the blonde then looked down and kept his phone. He placed his hands inside his pockets then started walking to the direction of his house, with a gloomy look on his face.

A few meters away, he then said with a cold voice "I'm going home… alone… Don't follow me, _any_ of you."

---

As soon as he got to his room, he threw his bag next to his PC and dropped himself to his bed, never turning on the lights and really, really, really irritated… and bothered, _'…Why am I so disturbed?"_

The same phrase as last night kept running through his mind, and every time it did, a tear fell from his face, "…Why am I even crying…?" the cat-eared boy said to himself then turned to the other side to face the wall of his bedroom.

A few moments later, a strong breeze came within the room. Ritsuka then jolted up to sit straight, his ears at attention, he wanted to turn around, and he knew it was Soubi but he didn't want to let Soubi see him crying, moreover, he didn't want to see Soubi at all…

"…W-what are you doing here?" Ritsuka's voice choked with tears, he then cleared his throat a little to cover up any possible mistranslations Soubi might have read, "Its late now, go home!"

"Ritsuka, its only 5:45pm… You've been in your room for more than two hours?" Soubi said calmly, but with a soft tone of concern, "…what's wrong?" he walked in closer to the small one.

Ritsuka quickly took a glance at his watch, then back to staring at his feet… He clenched his teeth, '…shit, he's right… What do I do now…?' he thought to himself. He then felt a sudden slump on one side of his bed; he felt the loving presence of his dear Fighter right next to him.

"…Why are you crying…?" Soubi reached out his hand to touch Ritsuka's back, but was then surprised with slap of the hand of his own Sacrifice, "…Ritsuka…"

"Shut up! Don't say my name like you care! Get out! I want you out! This is an order!" Ritsuka shouting at the top of his lungs, his two hands held his head down like as if one was about to be hit by something harsh, tears falling even faster than the last one.

The weight from the bed then shifted, only Ritsuka was sitting in his bed now. He then heard his balcony door open; a cool breeze came within the dark room.

"…Ritsuka, I love you…" Soubi said in a sad tone, the older blonde then stepped outside and shut the doors tightly, probably one of the most unsympathetic order he would just get from his dear, dear, sweet, little love…

Ritsuka held tight his blanket tightly, clenched his fists until he could feel his own blood having a hard time pumping themselves through his fingers, he stopped crying, but his face was still wet and his eyes swelling up.

He was so angry, so hurt… He wanted Soubi to hear him hurt, so he shouted out as loud as his lungs could have had handled…

"_NO, YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"_

**oO0Oo**

**A/N:** There's still more chapters to come:3 R&R please!

**NOTES**: …From what I know and from what anime shows I watch, they leave school by 3 or so… to those who seem confused… ;;;


	2. 2 The key to all heaven is mine

**So this is love – Chapter 2: The key to all heaven is mine**

**---**

**A/N**: Konnichi-waaaaa:D I'm glad I got more hits and alerts on this piece here and thanks to all the people who reviewed in the last chapter! This chapter's for you :3 …here's the 2nd chapter of my fanfic. Hope you like it! R&R please! ♥

I'm sorry about the long update. ;;) My darn computer was broken for a little while, but now it's fixed! Yay! claps

Thanks to all the people who alerted and reviewed in the earlier chapter. I really appreciate it :D

**Summary:** Ritsuka and Soubi have been in love with each other for a long time, each passing event holding their bond together even stronger. But something disturbs Ritsuka that makes him suspicious… SxR, Yaoi, Shounen-ai

**!DISCLAIMER!**

Loveless© does not belong to me! (Too bad xD)

**!WARNINGS!**

Yaoi, shounen-ai, male pairings, homosexuality, etc… need I say more:3

…**.oO0Oo….**

…_Soubi-kun…_

Ritsuka thought to himself sheepishly. He couldn't get much sleep after that night. He received very few messages from him. And yet, he still loved him… too much.

…_Damn it, Soubi. I hate this, I hate hating you… And yet I hate the idea of you actually… Damn it… I hate it all!_

The young boy placed his hand over his mouth and yawned and drooped back to his desk. He couldn't even concentrate on staring at the board, yet if ever he'd look outside, a certain pink-haired nosy seatmate would ask what's wrong.

He'd yawn every now and then; he'd see from the corner of his eye that Yuiko would take a small glance at Ritsuka, he knows that she thinks something. He'd fall asleep every now and then, jerking his head back up when he's awake or even half-awake.

"…Ritsuka-kun… Ritsuka-kun…" heard Ritsuka, _I must be thinking too much again… I think I'm hearing my own name…_

"**RITSUKA-KUN!**" said Shinonome-sensei, snapping Ritsuka back to his senses; a sudden shock ran through his spine and his teacher's eyes filled with long-termed irritation, "I've been calling you for the 15th time now… Are you feeling ok? You might faint like that other time…"

"…I'm fine, sensei. I'll listen to the lecture this time, I'm sorry…" Ritsuka said his head set down. Shinonome-sensei heard the sadness in his voice and sighed gently, "…Ritsuka-kun" she said "…don't let me catch you again okay?" She then smiled and went back to the board.

Ritsuka then sat down on his seat and rested his chin on his hand. "Ritsuka-kun" Yuiko whispered at his side "…you sure you're okay?"

"…I am. Don't worry…" he told her, Yuiko still had some disbeliefs but she still went back to listening to the lecture. _I guess it's something personal _she thought.

Dismissal.

Everyone seems happy. All elementary students are out running freely with their friends, either to go out to have some fun or just hang out at some diner. All the boys were talking of either sports or games. The girls were just talking of… you know, girly stuff.

Ritsuka quietly placed his text books and note books inside his bag. Yuiko, while turning her head from the forever-desperate Yayoi every now and then, still has some suspicions ringing inside her head.

"…Ritsuka-kun" Yuiko said as she calmly walked towards Ritsuka, Yayoi in the background, thinking '_Notice me, Yuiko! I'm sad!_'

"…What's wrong?" Ritsuka replied.

"O-oh nothing, I was just wondering if you would like to err…" Yuiko looked around, trying to find an excuse or something to cheer the love of her life up "…H-hang out with Yayoi-kun and me! You see, there's this new ice cream shop and--"

"Its okay, Yuiko-chan, I have to help mom at home anyways…" Ritsuka quickly lied. He didn't like lying to his friends, but what other choice does he really have? Another fighting pair or Soubi might appear wherever he might go, there's always a possibility. Ritsuka then hauled his bag over his shoulder then walked away from the odd couple, "…have fun, though, both of you"

"…Ritsuka-kun…" escaped from the pink-haired girl's mouth. Ritsuka had left the room.

"…Uh, Yuiko-chan, so where's this new ice cream place you were talking about?" Yayoi said with a very, very happy and wide smile, beaming with happiness. Yuiko turned around to see the shorter person with high hopes of actually going. _'…Oh, great how am I supposed to…?'_

Ritsuka walked out of the school buildings as calm as he could, but he couldn't shake that feeling that… he missed someone and he wanted to see him badly. Was it because of Soubi?

Whatever it is, he ran faster and faster with every heart beat he felt against his chest. He reached outside the school gates soon to find out that… No one was really there.

"Heh… Why was I even running…? It's not like…" Ritsuka whispered to himself and started walking towards the direction of his house with his head down.

Just as soon as Ritsuka was as far as his eyes could see, Soubi emerged from his hiding place and whispered to himself, "Ritsuka-kun…"

"Soubi-kun?" he heard. He turned his head quickly to the voice of a tall, young woman with pink hair and a shorter one tailing right behind her. "It is you!" she smiled, "…Ritsuka-kun just left a little while ago, something must be wrong with him…"

Soubi's expression changed to an even more depressing mood, a gloomy aura surrounded him greatly. Yuiko tilted her head slightly "…Do you uhh… know what's wrong with… Ritsuka-kun…?"

She then felt a light tug at her shirt, she turned to see Yayoi make a puppy-face "…The ice-cream place…"

"—Yayoi-kun! I was talking to Soubi! Ne, Sou--" she turned her head back to see that he was gone "—bi? …Where'd he go?"

"I dunno… let's go!" Yayoi then dragged her away from the school, "If you think that place is great, wait 'till you get to this place, it's got thousands and thousands of strawberry flavors!"

(Back at the Aoyagi's Residence…)

Ritsuka dug inside his pockets, trying to find the extra pair of house keys his mother left him, since she likes to lock the door a lot. He dug out lots of candy wrappers, shreds of bright and plain colors of papers, then finally, his keys.

"Finally…" he smiled to himself, as he looked at the shiny object; something on the ground caught his eye unintentionally. It was a picture of him and Soubi in the park the first day they met. The first time they kissed… it was unexpected by Ritsuka, but in truth, he liked it… Soubi's warm lips that touched his own every once in a while… his warm touch.

Ritsuka shook his head to get rid of the memories and images being processed. "Yeah right" he said to himself sarcastically as he hid the photograph in his back pocket. He unlocked the front door and walked inside, took off his shoes and walked immediately to his room and dropped onto his bed like a dead log. A few seconds afterwards, he heard a light knock on the door.

"Ritsuka-kun, are you there? You want a snack or anything?" he heard his mother say.

"No, Mom. I don't feel good…" he responded.

"Are you sick?"

"No, Mom… Just… leave me alone…"

There was a long silence. Ritsuka heard her run downstairs, shouting and breaking things again. He dug his whole head inside his pillow and gave a small chuckle, "Heh… My whole life's a living hell…" and tears stung his eyes.

"I hate you so much… I hate this feeling of confusion… I have to know…"

He got out his phone and started pressing the buttons simultaneously, a few seconds letter he pressed the button "SEND", and the message now drifting within space to… someone rather unexpected.

_Beep-beep… beep-beep…_

"Mm? Who could that be?" the blonde said, turning his head away from his project, his multiple earrings shining brightly in his studio. He got out his phone from his bag and opened up the message.

"What the? It's that Aoyagi brat!" Kio said, his jaw dropping, the heat tension rising up to his head, "…'_meet…me…in…the…gate of the zoo… tomorrow… at noon…'…_What the? Who does he think he is! I have a schedule to follo—" he then looked at his calendar, he was free that Saturday, "—ooooooow… Eh, what the heck…"

Kio then pressed on his phone's buttons, replying to the little neko, "It's probably another outing with Soubi-kun and the others anyways…"

"…Okay, with this, I'll have the answers… If not all, then most, at least…" Ritsuka said after receiving Kio's reply. He laid himself down on his bed and closed his eyes, yet it seemed like forever until he could actually get any sleep…

Ritsuka's fighter was standing outside, watching him for a little while now. Soubi slowly entered the sacrifice's room with gentle steps as to not wake his loved one. The only noise he could hear was the faint breathing of the younger one. His mouth opening and closing, sometimes mumbling words so weakly he couldn't make out what he was saying. Ritsuka's chest rising and falling to the cadence of his breathing, it made Soubi adore him ever more…

_He does look like his brother... _he thought _…he has his attractiveness, but Ritsuka-kun is more charming than that… he's so endearing… _He went closer to the younger one's face and breathed in his scent, he wanted to touch his cheek, he wanted to feel his lips… his warmth, at least… He was millimeters away from his sacrifice's cheek when he heard him mumble something…

"Soubi… kun…" he said and grumbled something else. Soubi leaned in closer, "What did you say, Ritsuka-kun?" he saw Ritsuka's eyelashes flutter and open a little bit, thinking he woke him up he moved back a little. But Ritsuka was half-asleep. _Good…_

"…I love you…" Ritsuka said in a low voice "…but you love Onii-san more, I can tell. You look… distant sometimes… when I talk to you… you say you love me, but you visit his grave much more than you visit me…"

Soubi's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't say anything. There was something caught up in his throat that he couldn't utter anything at all. It was all true, when he had enough time he would go and visit his former Sacrifice's grave, he may not have shown it but he was crying… on the inside at least. He gave off a small chuckle.

"…Ritsuka…" Soubi's face went in close again to Ritsuka's, tears were starting to flow. He didn't know what to say—well, what do you say when the one you love the most denies your own love for him, do you reject his opinion or accept it. Either way, deep within Soubi's own subconscious mind, maybe he did love Aoyagi Seimei more than Ritsuka, maybe he was using the young one without him knowing, maybe in some twisted way he did miss Seimei more than anything. But he doesn't know… all he wants right now was to hug or kiss the younger version of Seimei and tell him how much he means to him and tell him that he loves him and that his brother's death was a loss to all people who knew him—especially Soubi, because he was his fighter and his sacrifice was erased from the world.

Yet he leaned closer, not saying all the strange things he was thinking. He whispered a very sincere "I love you" and kissed Ritsuka lightly, the warmth making his tears flow from his eyes even more, one drop landing upon his dear one's cheek.

"Soubi!" Ritsuka said, upon realizing he felt his fighter's presence, awakening to a somehow sweet memory, he felt Soubi's tear run down his cheek "…was I _crying_?", wiping the tear out, he pulled the covers over him again and tried to sleep again. _I could have sworn he was here… it's probably just a dream..._

"…I still hate you, Soubi…"

**oO0Oo**

**A/N: **Phew… talk about writer's block, with a broken computer and school all at the same time. :3 I'll try to update soon. ; School's been a real wreck for me. ;; Hope you liked it!


	3. My Hearts has Wings and I Can Fly

**So this is love – Chapter 3: My heart has wings and I can fly**

**---**

**A/N**: Thanks to all the people who reviewed in the past chapters!  School's been a real btch so I'm having a hard time trying to find for my studies and for my uhh… extra stuff. :D Anyways, thanks a bunch to all of you for the cookies and pies… lolz.

**Summary:** Ritsuka and Soubi have been in love with each other for a long time, each passing event holding their bond together even stronger. But something disturbs Ritsuka that makes him suspicious… SxR, Yaoi, Shounen-ai

**!DISCLAIMER!**

Loveless© does not belong to me! (Too bad XD) …Besides, if it did, I'd make every scene of the whole show with Soubi and Ritsuka in bed. : P

**!WARNINGS!**

Yaoi, shounen-ai, male pairings, homosexuality, etc… need I say more: 3

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

…**.oO0Oo….**

"WHAT?!"

There was a ringing shrill in the air, especially at the ice-cream and snacks place near the Reptile section of the zoo. People and their children turned their heads to the multi-pierced stranger who, at a split-second, turned his head quickly and hiding his face, trying not to be the center of attention while his seatmate was just as quiet and calm, innocently drinking his smoothie.

_Dost my ears deceive me? _Kio thought, the feeling of shock ran down his spine again. He took a glimpse at the young neko beside him… _It's not like I've never heard of a couple fight, but… It's Soubi and Ritsuka, it's not like they haven't had a fight before, either, but this was a big fight for them. No wonder Soubi wasn't in the mood for jokes that other day..._

"…Has Soubi talked about me these few days?" Ritsuka's voice broke Kio's own thoughts; he shook his head to get back to reality fully.

"Hmmm…" Kio let his head sit on his hand for a moment or two, and then he remembered Soubi saying something not even a week ago…

'…_It's nothing. Ritsuka and I are just fighting again, it's no big deal."_

'_That Aoyagi brat again? Oh come on, you already had enough of his brother, now him?'_

_POW! A hit on the face, pain, a probability of a bruise quickly forming._

'_OW!!! That hurt, Soubi! Why the hell did you just hit me for?!'_

'…_get back to work, Kio.'_

'_Soubi—'_

'_I said to get back to work…'_

"Oh yeah, he did mention a hit or two…" Kio rubbed his right cheek. _That jerk_…

"A hit?" Ritsuka turned his head to the older man.

"Err… I mean, he was mentioning about a fight with you two again and when I tried to ask him more about it he totally wanted me to stop…" Kio took a sip from his own strawberry smoothie, pouting like a child.

"…Oh…" Ritsuka crossed his hands on the table and buried his head in it.

"Why don't you talk to your psychiatrist about this? I'm sure she's more experienced—"

"—oh yeah, sure, I could just tell her I'm having a strange master-slave relationship with an older man who could cast spells using mere words and, oh, guess what? He's using me as his fulfillment of pleasure, I'm a replacement for my Onii-san…" the last words made his voice sound like he's about to cry. Kio could hear the little one sniffing, his shoulders shifting, trying to mask the pain but couldn't...

"Hey, hey, Ritsuka-kun…" Kio said, trying to stop him from crying, patting his back, "—Look, I dunno about him casting spells using words or anything…" in his mind, he's raising an eyebrow. _It's probably the ice cream; the kid's probably having a brain freeze… _"…But there are a whole lot of jerks out there who could hurt you even more. Heck, take it from me! Just live life to the fullest! Come on, Ritsuka, let's go see the giant tortoise right now!" he finished himself with a broad smile.

Ritsuka sniffed, he wiped his eyes using his long sleeve and stared at Kio for a moment or two. Giving off a slight smile with some hope left in it, he nodded and they went off to see the big tortoise.

While not so far away in the zoo, a certain Fighter was researching on big cats for his own college purposes. He glanced to his left and just before they disappeared, saw a small part of Ritsuka and… Kio? Together? He placed his pad of paper and pencil away in his shoulder bag and paced towards the direction where he last saw Ritsuka and Kio.

---

"How badly do you wanna ride on that turtle's back?" Kio said, smiling like a toddler, daydreaming away of how it would've been if he were to ride on a giant turtle's back, out on the ocean.

Ritsuka, on the other hand, had other things to think about. Something in the back of his mind tingled him and he couldn't help but feel Soubi's presence.

"Hey, hey!" Kio said, poking the little one's forehead, waking him from his thoughts.

"…Huh?"

"Honestly, Ritsuka, how do you expect to feel better if you think too much all the time?"

"Yeah, you're right Kio-san… I shouldn't think too much…" Ritsuka said, turning his head to a direction he felt the coldest stare from.

An incredibly painful wave ran through the Sacrifice's spine when he saw his Fighter glaring abhorrently at either him or Kio. His eyes scream an angry '_What are you doing here with Kio?', _yet his aura sneaked a small hint of sadness.

At the same moment, Ritsuka turned away instantly. _Soubi… He's here… He wasn't supposed to be here… Soubi… I… _

"Oi, Ritsuka-kun!" a caring voice pierced through his thoughts, "You look like you just saw a ghost, you okay, man?" Kio's warm hand against his cold forehead, a cold break of sweat spread across from his temples down to his cheeks. Ritsuka's hand shifted Kio's arm away.

"I'm alright… It was just the heat, I'll be in the bathroom, Kio-san…" he said, going to the bathroom just a few meters away from where they were.

A cold splash on his face… _Deep breaths… Take it easy_… Ritsuka looked up from the sink. _Kio-san's right… I'm thinking too deeply about this… _he thought as he splashed on his face again with the refreshing water. He felt tight in the comfort room, there was no one else there, and the air was humid, cold and harsh. He wanted to leave already. Just when he reached out to grab a tissue paper, he felt a soft, furry, and very familiar velvet-like coat.

He jumped back, a sudden worry leveled throughout his body, his temperature rising to the limits; sweat beads suddenly forming at his temples. _…Soubi… _What was he going to do or say to the person he loved? What the fuck was he doing there in the first place?

"Good afternoon, Ritsuka-kun…" Soubi smiled, which only made Ritsuka hate him more. He hated that wide grin; it was so fake, so plastic, so much like him… Soubi reached out to try to touch his cheek, but Ritsuka backed away from him. "…Ritsuka-kun…"

"Shut up, Soubi… What are you doing here?! I thought I _ordered_ you not to come near me again."

"Alas, my love, I am here on college work, I cannot avoid that—"

"—I AM NOT _YOUR LOVE_, OKAY?" Ritsuka turned his face away in anger, his hands clenched into white fists, "Would you just stop screwing around with my mind already???" he felt like his head was to erupt any moment now.

"Why?"

Ritsuka turned back to Soubi, a concerned face masking over his own, "Why do you keep avoiding me like this? I do love y—"

"—NO. No, you don't… You love my brother." Ritsuka said with a small crackle in his voice. _No, not now… I don't want to cry… in front of you at least. _He started to massage his forehead to calm himself down, his head was down and his eyes staring at nothing but the damp tiles of the comfort room.

Then he came up with a plan. _I'll show you, Soubi…_ Inside his mind he started laughing wickedly. He slowly lifted up his head, with a veil of a straight, confused face covering his true intentions. He flipped back his bangs, and then showed a wicked smile.

Soubi's face showed a somehow distant hope. _He's smiling… It's been such a long time since I've seen his smile, but this isn't like his own smile… This… doesn't seem… good… at all._

"…I have to go back now, Soubi" he said coolly, "I wouldn't want to keep my date waiting too long…" he turned his heel and started to stride back.

"—D-date?"

Ritsuka turned back. "…Yeah, what do you think I said?" then he flashed a cruel smile, something that would seem to torture Soubi the next few nights. Then he walked out of the male's comfort room.

---

Still waiting at the Giant turtle section, an amazed Kio still stood there while they were feeding the huge giant. He heard light footsteps running to his direction. He turned to see it was Ritsuka, looking more than happy for some reason.

"Hey, Ritsuka-ku—!!"

The younger one then jumped up and hugged him tightly.

"…Uhh, Ritsuka-kun…?" Kio said, looking confused and somehow relieved that his companion seems a lot better—a LOT better than he expected. Scratching the back of his head, he smiled than laughed a little because of that relief. Something Ritsuka was expecting he might've done…

"I'm sorry for making you wait…" he looked up and shined bright, smiling like that.

"Oh no, it's alright…"

---

Soubi just stood there in the doorway of the comfort room. He took out a cigarette and lit it, and with that he started one of his smoking sessions again. _…What are you planning now, Ritsuka? This isn't funny…_

---

Ritsuka turned to see if his Fighter was looking at them. He smiled wickedly again. It was all going according to plan.

…_Oh I hate you so much, Soubi…_

…**.oO0Oo….**

A/N: I'm sorry for not doing this any faster, but school's been locking me up for so long. cries Training's been a hassle, exams just finished and I still have projects to finish… looks at lists Nope, no time for relaxing for me. LOLZ, yeah right. : P

Anyways, thanks a bunch for all those who alerted and reviewed and read this: 3 You've no idea how much it means for me to have people read this. Ooh, thanks for all the "cookies" and the "pies" you guys given me. ;;;

I'll work harder for you guys, promise! XD


	4. I'll touch every star in the sky

**So this is love – Chapter 4: I'll touch every star in the sky**

**---**

**A/N**: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and alerted on the last few chapters. Every time I read them, I feel just more motivated to write even more for you guys:') Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. : P

**Thanks to:** My beta reader and little sister, Beatrix-theTurtleQueen, and to all the people who'll be reading this fic and reviewing it.

**Summary:** Ritsuka and Soubi have been in love with each other for a long time, each passing event holding their bond together even stronger. But something disturbs Ritsuka that makes him suspicious… SxR, Yaoi, Shounen-ai

**!DISCLAIMER!**

Loveless© does not belong to me! (Too bad XD) …Besides, if it did, I'd make every scene of the whole show with Soubi and Ritsuka in bed. : P

**!WARNINGS!**

Yaoi, shounen-ai, male pairings, homosexuality, etc… need I say more: 3

…And maybe a little OOC for those who based it from the Manga. XD

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

…**.oO0Oo….**

_Come on… pick up… pick up, damn it…_

Kio's finger rapidly tapped on his end table. Being confused never meant so much hassle to the multi-piercing fanatic—not even in high school. He never felt he needed so much refuge that he can't even stay put in his own household—or apartment for that matter. He needed someone to talk to… he **_desperately_** needed it.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Phil's Global Help service, how may I be of help to you?" a smiling, feminine voice picked up the line already.

…Did I mention he was _desperate_?

"Oh yes… you see…" Kio's voice shook over the phone—how could he tell the complete stranger all that's bugging him? Why the hell did that Phil dude even have a Global whatever…? Why couldn't he just talk to Dr. Phil himself? He seemed so much better on TV… well, with subtitles, but that's not the point! He needed help. NOW.

"…Can I ask you a question?" he started again.

"Yes, sir?"

"Why can't I just talk to Dr. Phil instead???"

"Well, sir, Dr. Phil is very busy—"

"—never mind… Stupid question…"

"…"

"You guys are supposed to "help" us with some kind of "Dr. Phil"-like advice, right?"

"Uhm… that's right, sir…"

"…that way it's like _talking_ to Dr. Phil, but it's not, right?"

"…err…"

"But I want to talk to Dr. Phil because he seems like to know everything, unlike you miss, no offense, but how many people have you helped problems with so far?"

"…Sir, this is my first day on the job—"

"—so you haven't helped anyone yet???"

"Y-you're the first one, sir…"

"Well, you're not helping me at all, so good bye!"

**SLAM!!! Beep… beep… beep…**

_Damn, am I messed up or what…? I just harassed a lady stranger over the phone…_ Kio laid himself on the couch. He started laughing to himself.

"Shit, it was even her first day on the job!" Kio laughed hysterically.

"—who was on her first day on the job?" a cold voice ran through his spine, one that made all the hairs on his back rise to its ends.

"S-Soubi! You're back!" Kio quickly sat up straight, facing Soubi with a smile on his face and terror that wrecked his heart. Ever since he had that outing with Ritsuka, Soubi just got to be more mad and angry at him; Ritsuka on the other hand, seemed to get even more 'friendly' than usual. _Why is this happening to me…???_

Soubi shifted his weight to his right leg and placed his left hand in his pocket, his cold glare still on Kio's child-like grin_. Damn he looks scary…_ Kio promptly stood up, trying to find a way to break the ice or at least the coldness in Soubi's orbs.

"Uhm… do you want some tea?" Kio walked over to the kitchen's direction awkwardly.

"Whatever…" Soubi said, a pitiless tone ringing on his vocal cords. He sat down on Kio's couch for a little while, whilst the smell of tea filled the atmosphere, calming him down a bit. Monotony quickly comes to a person who sees dimensional fights as often as he does, so he looked around Kio's living room, his eyes not too soon lay upon the coffee table which, on top on, has Psychological Magazines, some were foreign, some were Japanese. For Soubi, they were all just quack doctors who tell you how to run your life—oh no wait, those were teachers...

"Kio?" Soubi exclaimed as he opened up a foreign magazine, "…do you have any problems lately?"

Kio jolted up, worry washed over him, "Oh, nothing really, just a few financial problems, that's all!"

"…really?" the Fighter turned the magazine's page that says _Anxious Breakdowns and no shoulder to cry on? Call Dr. Phil! Worried you can't contact him because you're too far away? Call his Global Help Service! Toll Free! Tell us all your problems!_ "…How relieving to hear you don't need a shoulder to cry on…"

Kio cleared his throat, "Funny you should say that, you see I really need to talk to you about you and…"

"…Ritsuka?"

_Gulp._

"Well, yeah…" Kio placed the tea set on a tray and started walking out, every moment thinking _what the fuck am I going to say_? Anxiety quickly swept over him, "…I wanted for the three of us to have a talk but I forgot he had school today and today's the only day I'm free, so…"

Kio placed the tea on the coffee table, clearing away the magazines before Soubi might think he was a dramatic freak. Soubi's gaze didn't wander from the magazine he was reading, the aura around him never changed from when he was staring coldly. _'So the three of us could talk', huh? Amusing… I feel like I have family again… _Soubi thought sarcastically, laughing in his mind.

"…About Ritsuka…"

Soubi's head didn't turn whatsoever, but his harsh eyes rolled about to Kio's direction. Kio was twiddling his index fingers around like a child on his elementary school entrance interview. He didn't know when or how to begin—he wasn't really the impromptu kind of person, so he has to gather his thoughts quite carefully or else all will be lost.

"I-I… Ritsuka… he seems to be acting strange nowadays…" Kio sighed, finally he stopped stuttering, "…I know you guys really l-love each other" he hesitated at 'love' because he loved Soubi once and was completely jealous of what he had with Ritsuka. _Because I know I'll never have that…_ he thought.

"I know where you're going with this…" Soubi looked up from his tea. Kio stared at Soubi, for he did not even notice the Fighter move. I _must have been thinking too hard a while ago_… Soubi sipped his tea a little and placed it down on the coffee table, his every movement watched by the lemon-colored blonde. Anticipating and guessing what he's going to say. He unexpectedly stood up and pushed his glasses up his nose bridge.

"…Soubi…" Kio said, waiting for a positive response. _Maybe… maybe he'll stop ignoring me now…_

"You guys want me to leave you alone, right?" Soubi stared deep into Kio's eyes.

"What?? No! That's not what I meant! Soubi—"

"Don't you think I get the point already, Kio??? I'm not as stupid as you think I am! You and Ritsuka seem to be so happy together… the other day, I saw you guys in the zoo and you were laughing with him!"

"The little guy has problems! That's why I wanted to comfort him—"

"That's why you guys make such a good couple!"

"—we're _friends_, goddamnit, Soubi!!!" Kio thundered he stood up; his blood was boiling and reaching at his peak, "Why do you have to be such a damn pussy, Soubi???"

"Oh like you aren't. Would you just stop being such a motherfucking drama queen and wake up?! You've been nothing but a pest to me—I've never liked you in the first place!!! Heck, maybe I just used you!!!" Soubi's clamor echoed throughout the room and what it seemed to be an eternal silence blanketed the room, but it still remained on the ears and in the mind of the fragile Kio who was now staring at the floor. His eyes were wide open and a facial expression that wailed "You can't be serious".

His eyes finally looked up. "…Soubi…" his voice crackled, tears were now filling up his eyes, "Why do you have to be so…?"

Soubi's cold gaze matched Kio's teary stare. "…You know I loved you once, right?"

"You were a replacement."

"…F-for…"

"Seimei. I didn't have the heart to tell you…" Soubi took his trench coat and swung it over his shoulder, turned his heel but before he left, he looked over his shoulder to Kio "…You brought this upon yourself, Kio… You shouldn't have meddled in my affairs… Any of them," he then walked out and slammed the door, leaving Kio there. Alone.

Alone.

_Alone_.

Kio's weak knees gave in and coldness coated his skin, his warm cheeks flowing with cold tears. He crossed his arms to reach to his shoulders and started rubbing his arms for a least a small amount of warmth. "Why…?"

**Beep-beep… beep-beep…**

Kio turned his head to where his bedroom was, the beeping of his cellular phone rang through the walls. He walked to his bedroom, maybe not in the most humanistic way but he gathered up all his strength to walk there. _Maybe… maybe Soubi's apologizing…_

The positive thought made him feel a little bit better as he fell on the bed and reached out lazily to his cellular phone. He flipped it open and pressed a button.

"_Hey, Kio, I had fun the other day. Are you doing anything tomorrow:D Or when are you free? –Ritsuka"_

"…You…" Kio said to the message, "You're the reason why he's so mad at me… You're why I'm mad at him now, too. It's all you're fault…! It's all you're—"

_I just used you!!!_

Soubi's cruel, tormenting words rang through his ears again. "No…" Kio whispered, "I'll show you, Soubi. I'll make sure your little Aoyagi brat will never come back to you again…" he sat up straight and started to press the buttons on his cellular phone simultaneously then pressed SEND.

---

"Cool! He's free!" Ritsuka said, a tone of extreme glee in his voice, something was up in his mind. He wanted it all to come together nicely to make sure Soubi will be begging for him to come back.

He then at that instant, pressed letters on his keypad to what time and where they could go the day after and then pressed SEND with a satisfied smile on his face.

"…I'll make sure you'll be pleading so miserably for me to come back for you… I hate you so much, Soubi…"

…**.oO0Oo….**

**A/N:** I'm sorry if Ritsuka only appeared for a short time to those who are disappointed. X( Some of the characters might be a little OOC, I apologize at that fact.  And in some of the future chapters… Kio might do some "stuff" to Ritsuka that you guys might not like (for example, you're a SoubiXRitsuka fan)—I'm just warning you ahead of time, so don't flame me!!! X( hides underneath the carpet and shivers in fear

Thanks again for reading:D I hope you liked it! Please be nice in reviewing. :(


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